New Year Desolutions

So, here I am. You found me.


You know how everyone has that one thing that they’re great at? That one cool thing they’re better at than anyone else, that comes to them so effortlessly with such passion and joy?
Well I, most definitely, do not have one of those.

I have failed at almost everything I have ever tried at in my life. My biggest sporting achievement was coming second last in a race when I was seven years old. I felt like a gladiator.

As such, this year like every year, I promised myself that I will find a hobby that I enjoy and that I will be good at. Now don’t get me wrong, I am very aware that some people have a knack for things and others work hard to get just as good. But I am someone who lacks skill and dedication of any kind. Unless it’s to some kind of netflix marathon. That I can get behind.

The struggle is real.

As well as being a chronic failure at activities, I’m the odd one out of my group of friends when it comes to “craft nights”. I either avoid them entirely, or drink heavily to avoid awkward crafty conversations (craft beer is a kind of craft, right? Right). Besides endearingly jeering at them about how they indulge in old lady activities, I do crave having a hobby, besides my love of television and snacks.

I mistakenly mentioned this to them and before I knew it, I was sat down and given a crochet needle.


More on that evening later. Before I knew it, I was doing a thing. And I was failing at it quite spectacularly.

I reflected back on some DIY posts I have read in the past and grumbled to myself about how they always produce flawless results with minimal effort. As I began to swear at the remains of a bad haircut from a sheep that was pulled tightly around a needle that looked like it was made for cleaning out ears or fingernails, I thought to myself “people need to see just how not easy this shit is”.

After a few discussions with some other not so creative types, I took solace in the fact that I am not alone in feeling like a failure when trying to make a “simple DIY” doodad from the internet. Humanising failure not only makes us feel better about our own abilities, but allows us to poke fun at the need for perfection. It encourages us to having a go, no matter how poorly it turns out.
And besides, it means you spent a good few hours of the week creating and focusing your mind rather than hating yourself for binge-watching episodes of your favourite tv show and not showering for three days.

As such, in a pitiful display of being inspired by the season of change (or as I like to call it, January), I hereby declare that I will attempt to create a thing at least once a fortnight.

They will be imperfect, they will be yelled at and potentially thrown or flushed down a toilet, there will be numerous disasters, but dammit, they will be made.
So, if you enjoy seeing someone else suck as much as you do at crafts, continue to enjoy my misdemeanors in creation.

Stay cussy.



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